Thursday, April 26, 2012

North Korea's Primary Export is Krazy

Even sadder than the tragic situation in Syria, to me at least, is that of North Korea.  While a generation of malnourished drones grow up worshiping a magical hardliner dynasty, their military wastes HALF A BILLION DOLLARS on a rocket that not only destroyed itself almost immediately after launch, but which also cost them their latest food deal with the United States.

I had high hopes that Kim Jong Il's son, Kim Jong Un, might be just a little less reprehensible than his ancestors, but since he followed up the rocket fiasco with a May Day-Red Square style parade to showcase a bunch of long range missiles that wouldn't have intimidated anyone with a lick of sense even if they hadn't been fake, which of course, they were.

If it wouldn't make me as evil as their own leaders, I would wish for North Korea to actually launch an attack so that their military could be swiftly defeated and disassembled, their regime changed and their existing leadership tried in the Hague while their people get taught how to farm again.  But like I said, evil.

Despite my general optimism, I cannot conjure up a happy ending for the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, no matter how hard I try.  After more than a half-century at the helm, there is simply no way that those in power are going to relinquish it willingly, and their stranglehold on the starving populace combined with the mesmerized cults of personality that govern their military make an Arab Spring scenario equally unlikely.  I guess we can count on the perpetual cycle of pity and anger we feel as this unlikely Communist monarchy alternates between begging for food and threatening an Asiatic nuclear holocaust.  If I were North Korea, I'd be extremely worried about getting framed for some cross-border atrocity all Tom Clancy style, so that NATO, the US, South Korea, Japan, or any combination of the above plus anyone else just sick and tired of the endless posturing finally have their excuse to roll in and re-decorate.  Make no mistake, this is a rotten, rotten idea, but someday, and may that day never come, it might be a desirable alternative to whatever madness comes out Pyongyang in the future.

At this point, it seems like the best we can hope for is that their nationalistic insanity one day manifests itself in a more peaceful, constructive and (dare we hope?) funky fashion.

No, it's not realistic, but at least it's hopeful.

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