The Strangest Oscars

We had a half-dozen people over for the Oscars tonight, and it was weird.

And I don't mean because there was a rare split between Best Picture and Best Director, and not even due to an actor punching one of the presenters in the face, although, yeah, that was pretty weird.

No, the weirdest thing was having people over, exerting an atrophic hospitality muscle, and opening our doors to the most people our house has seen since probably 2019.

Heck, in 2019, we didn't even have an Oscar party because I was in Texas with Pete for the Muse concert. So this was only our second party of its type in half a decade (!) and yeah, if I am being honest (which I am because in vino veritas and I took 8 shots during the March of the Dead) it provoked a bit of anxiety.

Last week I confessed to Audrey about my apprehensions and told her "I am glad we are having the party, because I am not happy we are having the party." And she was away for our niece's bridal shower and worked her other job until 5 pm on Oscar night so a lot of the prep was left to me, and after so much hiatus, it felt unreal to be doing it all. 

But I did it, and I am glad we did. 

We crock-potted up a bunch of meatballs and people brought KFC and buns and cheesy potatoes and brownies (protected for the occasion) and there was beer and wine in the fridge and it was great. And not because of the food.

This year's theme was "Movie Lovers Unite" and that's why we did it. Sure it was great to watch Jane Campion become the first woman to not only be nominated for but WIN her second Oscar for Best Director, and for Billie Eilish and her brother to become the first Americans to win for a Bond song. 

I thought for sure that Kenneth Branagh must have won before but he got his first Oscar tonight for writing Belfast. And I hope Dune's six Oscars salves  Denis Villeneuve being snubbed for Best Director.

And yeah, after Will Smith walked onstage and actually slapped presenter Chris Rock after the latter made an insensitive joke about the bald look the former's wife is sporting due to alopecia ("G.I. Jane II"), I think Oscar's Wildest Moments has a new champ, and I was very disappointed that Smith didn't apologize to either Rock or his wife for losing his cool so fundamentally after winning Best Actor for King Richard. But at least it was memorable!

And having a full(er) room of people to share and appreciate that moment and all the others, like Jessica Chastain's great acceptance speech about, well, acceptance, really, or Kevin Costner's heartfelt appreciation for How the West Was Won.

Joking and gushing about the dresses and suits, and hooting for the winners we loved and clucking our collective tongues in dismissal  of those we didn't appreciate- it was so much better than watching by ourselves in a scaled-down ceremony last year.

Malachai took the Vegas odds ("Vegas never lies") and took the award for most predictions with 15, while Andrew's 11 correct guesses ended up winning him the draw for our movie ticket door prize. 

Pete "won" March of the Dead with 12 misses, while I silvered with 10. Honestly, I may have known about some of these and forgotten since the news fo their passing was announced, but if I am surprised on Oscar night, I take a drink, because them's the rules.

• Olympia Dukakis
• Ned Beatty
• Monica DeLaurentis
• Sally Kellerman
• Sonny Chiba
• Melvin Van Peebles
• Mace Neufeld
• Paul Mooney

Yet another example of why it is important from time to time to do things that take you out of your comfort zone, even if you have done them nearly 20 times before. Thank you, fellow movie lovers!

Brothers, Unarmed - YEG4Ukraine

Audrey and I first saw local singer/songwriter Martin Kerr at a now-defunct nightclub and restaurant back in 2011. He is a tremendously talented and soulful individual so we were glad for an opportunity to see him tonight, but even after an incredibly challenging week, he was only the sixth-most impressive individual we saw onstage tonight.

And to put this into perspective, bear in mind that this was at a benefit concert scrabbled together less than ten days ago, and only six days after Kerr snapped his femur while playing soccer. Such a trooper!

Kerr's music is much mellower and less aggressive than the majority of my musical diet, but he is truly a gifted vocalist and tremendous acoustic guitar player, and it is a genuine pleasure to listen to him in a small venue like the Ukrainian Youth Unity Complex, which is only a few blocks from our home in northwest Edmonton. Voluminously charismatic and friendly, he opened the show by explaining that performing while coming down off a wave of painkillers was at least one way to truly feel like a rock star.

Audrey (a devoted Martin Kerr fan) and I were happy to donate the price of a couple tickets to YEG4Ukraine without knowing too much about it, but midway through his 80-minute set, he yielded the stage to a quintet of everyday-looking middle-aged men while he hobbled offstage on his crutches for a breather. These men were not musicians but quickly became the stars of the show.

Pawel and Nestor Turczyk are local brothers, the eldest of which came here as a child when his parents fled the collapsing Soviet Union. They have family in western Ukraine and eastern Poland and are familiar with the area. Rather than hem and haw about what might be done, they have arranged to fly to Poland later this week and rent a van to bring in supplies and humanitarian aid and to ferry out refugees. The town they are headed to is about 60,000 people but has seen 100,000 desperate and displaced people pass through it every single day.

When word about their endeavour got out, they had so many people asking how they could help that they set up a GoFundMe page called YEG4Ukraine with a goal of $30,000. This goal was met so quickly that three childhood friends (Tim, Daniel and James Sousa) have come on board to help. Each of these men is paying their own way in terms of airfare and accommodation and (presumably) lost wages, but with more hands to help, they pushed the fundraising goal to $60,000. 

They leave this Thursday, and they have raised $67K thus far, and I hope tonight's cash donations bring them even further over the top. And a third brother from Halifax will be meeting them in Krakow as well.

Thanks to having contacts in the area, they have a keen sense of what is actually needed, and see themselves as having a golden opportunity to have a direct impact. They are bringing 30+ suitcases between them filled with tactical first aid kits as well as other hard-to-find items, as well as prepaid Visa cards that can help people with little more than the clothes on their back to obtain food and shelter.

With luck, we were told, perhaps those first aid packs will ensure that there are a couple more happy reunions when the current conflict is over, and maybe a handful fewer tragedies.

The selflessness of these men is completely overwhelming to me. Forsaking the comforts and safety that most of us have come to take for granted, they are travelling overseas into a literal warzone in order to help people. It is such a stark and salient counterpoint to the horror and terror happening in places like Kharkiv and Melitopol and Odessa right now that it does more than inspire me - it gives me actual, palpable hope that somehow, the resistance of Ukraine could somehow be successful.

In the middle film of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Two Towers, King Theoden of Rohan, awestruck by the brutality of the Urk-hai forces relentlessly attacking the supposedly impregnable fortress of Helm's Deep, is at the edge of despair. He asks Aragorn, pleadingly: "what can men do against such reckless hate?" 

I sometimes find myself asking a similar question of late, deep in the recesses of my heart.

Aragorn's response is to fight, to ride out together into the very teeth of the storm, and there are people doing that very thing in Ukraine at this very moment.

But there are others, unbowed, looking for ways to aid both those in battle and those fleeing it. They are not only expending time and money and effort, but risking their very bodies to help people in need dealing with a foe that recognizes no civility, no noncombatants, no safe zones.

What else can I do but give to help those who are helping? Audrey and I gave to the GoFundMe page tonight. 

Well, I guess the other thing I can do is ask for others to do the same; COMAA readership, I know that not all 14 of you live in Edmonton, but I know many of you have ties to this community, if not roots. And even if you don't, I implore you to support these "five local lads" as Martin Kerr called them, as they prepare to leave Alberta in four days to do their best in an impossibly tragic situation- and not by fighting, but by helping. Please, if you can, give.

At this time, in this place, I cannot imagine a worthier cause.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/yeg4ukraine 

Putin One Over On us

 Growing up in the '80s meant a lot of us spent a lot of our time fearing the Russians. Despite besting them in a legendary hockey series in 1972, we still recoiled from their repressive and isolationist society, their aggressive military posturing, their rumoured intelligence gatherers (i.e. spies) and of course, their missiles.

Even the popular culture of the day made the Soviet Union an uncompromising, intimidating heavy. From the occupation forces targeting the teenage resistance fighters in Red Dawn to the menacing bulk of Ivan Dragon in Rocky IV, the message was clear: there were two primary ideologies on the globe, and they did not play nicely with others.

Then suddenly while I was in college - pop! The wall goes down and the Soviet Union dissolves into its component parts. Pink Floyd played a concert featuring "The Wall" in Potsdamer Platz, right where the widest strip of the death zone used to be, and we all breathed a sigh of relief that all that brinksmanship was behind us!

Three decades later, the brinksmanship is back, and it feels worse than it ever did in the 80s.

On the plus side, Ukraine is still holding on, stubbornly, defiantly, maintaining control of their capital and huge swaths of the west of their country as well. Sanctions are in the process of hobbling Russia's economy, and aid and donations for Ukraine are flowing in from across much of the globe. Less positively, The advancement hasn't actually stopped, just slowed down, we are racing headline into a massive humanitarian crisis in besieged Mariupol, and direct conflict between Russia and NATO has a growing sense of inevitability.

And why?

Because one man wished it so: Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

An ex-KGB officer who became president of Russia less than a decade after entering politics, and has run the show in that country ever since. Hijacking elections, intimidating and poisoning political opponents, and re-jigging the constitution to ensure he can effectively remain President-for-life.

Many people ascribe his desire to bring Ukraine into his domain the way he annexed Crimea in 2014 as a means of restoring the former glory and greater sphere of influence held by the former Soviet Union, whose demise he still mourns, but I fear it is worse than that.

I fear it is vanity. 

The moment I became most afraid of Putin was not when he left the presidency to become prime minister for four years, before returning once again to the presidency. It wasn't when I discovered he was a legitimate Red spy and a black belt in judo. 

No, it was when I saw him score an unbelievable number of staged goals in a hockey game against professional Russian athletes, players half-heartedly chipping at the puck when he had it and lifting their goalie pads to ensure his shots became goals whenever possible. Less than 90 days ago he 'scored' seven goals as part of an 18-7 rout of the opposing team, while troops and tanks were filing up on the Ukrainian border for "military exercises." (Also, please note how the National Post makes no effort whatsoever to indicate what a sham this allegedly athletic contest is.) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xg9r2B4-do

The first time I saw this, it troubled me deeply and on many levels. 

This man is vain, I thought, tragically, emptily vain.

And he doesn't care who he has to co-opt in order to serve that vanity.

And he has enough power to make other people do things they wouldn't ordinarily consider, like athletes throwing a game, or looking like dupes in doing so.

And worst of all, I can't tell if Putin is deluded enough to believe he really is that good, or just cynical enough not to care if many people know how fake his prowess actually is.

He trots this all-star game nonsense out almost once a year, stoking the fires of his legendary manhood and toughness and pumping up his ego in the same way as his legendary bare-chested horseback riding photo ops.

And I don't have a lot of time for American politician Marco Rubio, but he made the chilling Putin even scarier when he suggested the Russian autocrat's motivations may be tied to an increased sense of mortality, since, at 69, he is only 2-3 years away from the average lifespan of a Russian male. (The World Bank puts it at 73.08, but still.)

Despite his embracing of the more conservative angles of the Russian Orthodox church, I am not confident that Vladimir Putin believes in any sort of afterlife. Even if he does, it is even money on whether he knows he is going to hell and doesn't care, or honestly believes that ginning up a story about Nazis oppressing Russian speakers in eastern Ukraine legitimizes his invasion of a sovereign state and will mitigate the growing list of war crimes he is accumulating, permitting him entry past the pearly gates.

The most likely scenario is that he simply doesn't care at all, and that combination of apathy and atavism, when backed by nuclear arms, makes me extremely uncomfortable. NATO's goal of staying out of direct conflict with Russia's armed forces makes even more sense when the very real prospect of nuclear war is not only on the table but actively being cited by the belligerent party.

And you tell me what's worse: this madman from St. Petersburg, or his apologists in the U.S. Republican party? Tucker Carlson of Fox News is a regular feature on Russian television (by request of the Kremlin, no less!) and has no problem describing Ukraine as being "not a real country" to his audience of bigoted Trumpites. Politician Tulsi Gabbard is only too happy to amplify Russian claims about biolabs in Ukraine researching weapons, when their neighbour to the east is actually the one in violation of the Biological Weapons Convention.

It is difficult to see any sort of constructive resolution to the war in Ukraine. Even if Russia sorts out its logistical failings and manages to drive the elected government out of Kyiv and install some sort of governor or puppet, there will be no easy way to effectively subdue the inevitable insurgency. Even if Putin were to recognize the sunk cost fallacy of his current operations and pull back across the border tomorrow, the demolition will take decades to fix. And regardless of all else, the sanctions and isolation facing Russia will put a deep and abiding discomfort upon the entire country for years. 

Perhaps the best hope is the one most sensible people are reluctant to mention: that at some point enough Russians are going to realize the true cost of this war (which they cannot call a war in Russia) in both precious lives and worthless rubles, driven by the vanity of one man desperately clinging to both power and glory, is too much for any country to pay, even one as old and as proud as Russia.

Perhaps with this ill-conceived (and apparently fictitiously presented) invasion of Ukraine, Putin has, at last, bitten off more than he can chew.

Treasure Hunting - Uncharted, Reviewed

I came late to the Uncharted video game franchise, mistakenly believing it to be a shooter. When I played it and discovered it was treasure-hunting, exploration, and puzzle-solving game, that also had the requisite amount of combat to qualify as an adventure game. 

But what I appreciated most was the dialogue and interactions between the characters, particularly in the sequels. I also appreciated the wrap-up in the fourth entry, so I was looking forward to a different take on Nathan Drake in the recent live-action movie adaptation of Uncharted.

Tom Holland is well-cast as the wise-cracking treasure-hound, encountered here as a very young man, but a little older than the teenager who first encounters his older counterpart and eventual patron, Victor "Sully" Sullivan (Mark Wahlberg) in the game.

I don't think of Tom Holland as a particularly great factor, but he has an earnestness that serves him extremely well as both Peter Parler and Nathan Drake. I think he stands a very good chance of becoming a brilliant entertainer who plays variations of himself, along the lines of a Jeff Goldblum. The role also requires incredible fitness and willingness to commit to stunts that Holland's tenure as Spider-Man has amply prepared him for.

Fantastic locations, crackling dialogue and a menacing heel turn by Antonio Banderas make Uncharted a very enjoyable matinee experience. True, there aren't too many surprises, and this film also suffers from giving too much away in the trailers, but frankly, the more PG-13 adventure shows there are, the happier I am in general.

But the truth is, there is more depth in the videogames - but that shouldn't be surprising, should it? Over four Uncharted games, you, the player, make all the choices for Nathan Drake; where to go, how to fight and so on. You have far more time to see interactions with the character, even the cinematics that you don't really control. More time even than most streaming or television series could boast.

The next big video game adaptation will be HBO's The Last of Us featuring Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsay. TLoU was one of the most intense video-game experiences - hell, one of the most intense narrative experiences, period - I have ever encountered. I am curious to see how much of the game's intensity, compassion and moral querying translates into a dramatic serial.

In the meantime though, if you fancy a lightweight, globe-spanning treasure hunt that feels like a lighter version of Indiana Jones and features a charming lead actor, Uncharted is a pretty solid find.