Sunday, March 24, 2013

Fort Kick-@$$: Phase 1 Complete

Tired but satisfied workers took a well-deserved break on Friday evening after having completed the initial construction of Fort Kick-@$$.  The successful completion means that the neighbourhood now has a much more defensible position to deal with hostile forces that may include boogeymen, ninjas, mean kids, and really smart dinosaurs, like the ones in that movie.

Constructed exclusively from crystalline matrix of dihydrogen oxide, the initial excavation was facilitated by the larger worker lifting the smaller one up and flinging her bodily into a site chosen for both its strategic amenities and logistical benefits.  This technique, currently known as "Put your hood up and hold your arms over your head; I want to show you something,"  is expected to see use again in Phase 2, once that project has received the necessary budget and governmental oversight.

"I'm going to make a hole here and get Mom to give me a zip-loc full of crackers so we don't have to go back into the house if we need food," one of the fort's personnel was overheard saying just prior to construction being finished.  Given the potential difficulties of securing provision from a kitchen 14 meters away in a Condition Red scenario, this plan was met with appreciative and profound agreement.

Efforts to have a small cask of whiskey of brandy attached to the collar of the regimental mascot needed to be abandoned since neither a suitable receptacle nor means of attachment could be found before it got dark and really cold outside.

It was also stressed that Fort Kick-@$$ is only a temporary name, and is unsuitable for long term use since 50% of the structure's occupants are not able to actually say it.

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