It is a commonly accepted fact that virtually all drinks* are improved in both quality and presentation if they are served in a pineapple. Sipping your favourite beverage from the hollowed out recesses of the delectable fruit they call 'Nature's Candy' not only increases the average imbiber's state of relaxation by 2-8 milliDudes (mD), but can also provide enough citric acid and Vitamin C to stave off scurvy for brief periods of time.
Many are daunted at the prospect of transmogrifying a pineapple into a drinking receptacle, but it is, in truth, a relatively simple process. Due to the presence of sharp objects and the aforementioned acid, the likelihood of some degree of pain is fairly significant unless suitable protective equipment or cautionary practice are put into play. By following these basic instructions, you can partake of the potable of your choice in a manner both stylish and biodegradable!
Use a sharp implement to remove the top of the pineapple. Placement of the cut should be the highest point on the fruit before it tapers in toward the greenery. Ideally, a machete will be used for this,but if space or safety constraints make this implausible, a large serrated knife also works well. A chainsaw should not be used since it not only damages much of the edible fruit, it also wastes a considerable amount of juice.
The umbrella not only adds a certain degree of flourish, but also makes the lid a bit more stable. A regular toothpick can be used of course, but really, if it's too much trouble, maybe you ought to drink out of a red Solo cup instead, hmm?
In terms of content, my preference is for a mixture of ginger ale, fruit juice and silver or other light rum, but the possibilities are nearly endless. Enjoy this pleasant means of fending off scurvy!
* Exceptions include, but are not limited to, coffee, tea, certain flavours of milkshake (i.e. not pineapple) and porter.