Never in my life have I been so grateful not to have eaten a delicious serving of tenderloin - but let me start at the beginning...
Back in February, Pete (The Rare Hipster) announced that his next Geekquinox dinner would be a "007 course meal" served on March 19. This prompted no small number of puns based on James Bond film titles, often poking fun at the late hour that the mains are sometimes served at, which he took with considerable good humour: The Wine is Not Enough, Dining is Forever, On Her Majesty's Secret Menu, Cold Pizza (styled after the amazing Shirley Bassey's Goldfinger), No Time to Die-t and this post's title, supplied by Earl.
With a month's notice and no schedule conflicts, it seemed like a sure thing. But then one of the guests tested positive for Covid which made a number of us uncomfortable with attending, so Pete wisely postponed.
Five months, two reschedulings and multiple Covid cases amongst multiple guests later, we finally convened last night for yet another amazing meal and a wonderful time with friends.
Audrey and I can generally be expected to lean into the theme in terms of our couture and this outing was no exception. Since I own no tuxedo (and am not particularly dashing even when I wear one), I leaned into the villain look with a black turtleneck, snake tooth necklace, eye patch and fake scarring on my freshly shaved head.
Audrey took the opportunity to portray my chauffeur/bodyguard, with an ominous cap, jacket and tie and makeup brilliantly applied by Glory.
Our preparations didn't make us too late and we arrived just after the last of the other guests, and I was delighted to see Pete rocking his own eyepatch and mandarin collar, with Ellen pulling off a remarkable Miss Moneypenny.
Rather than try to replicate specific dishes from the films, Pete elected to tie each course to the home region of various Bond villains, giving us a taste of several exotic locales.
Even the menu is on-point! |
Our hosts got everyone situated with beverages for the first course - astoundingly delicious blue cheese and horseradish biscuits served alongside meticulous rosettes of butter with honey (in honour of the film's female lead, Honey Ryder) and balsamic vinegar.
We enjoyed these on the deck until it began threatening rain so we moved indoors. I had brought a change of clothes just in case, but with the air conditioning on I was able to maintain the turtleneck all night (even though the patch made my eye sweaty).
Next up was an astonishing beef stroganoff in honour of Rosa Klebb. Now, most of us have probably cobbled something similarly rooted to this dish with ground beef, noodles and mushroom soup, or even round steak simmered in a crock pot, but this was amazing, and my favourite dish of the evening. A rich mushroomy sauce enveloping tender egg noodles, sauteed mushrooms and tiny onions, and then topped with strips of seasoned steak.
It will be really tough to go back to the Hamburger Helper version after this.
I didn't get a picture of it, but Pete also served me a delicious libation in the form of a hot honey jalapeno margarita. I am generally a fan of pretty much any margarita, but the blend of sweet and spice in this one, offset with the salted rim, made for an incredible tipple I cannot wait to try again.
Next up were garlic shrimp in the Spanish style - possibly the garliciest seafood I have ever been lucky enough to try. Large, firm and tender shrimp, dripping with garlic oil, and enhanced by frying the shrimp shells in it. Small portions of bread meant none of the delicious sauce was wasted.
The shrimp were followed by another seafood course, and a confession from our host. In homage to the underwater villainy of Karl Stromberg in The Spy Who Loved Me, we enjoyed pan-seared scallops in a lemon caper sauce. I love capers but was surprised at how much Audrey enjoyed this dish since they are not usually to her liking - such is Pete's culinary skill!
The confession was significant, even if the reaction to it was not. Pete admitted he had over-extended himself, and we would need to forego the tenderloin dinner as it has not gotten started in time. As much as those in attendance had been looking forward to a classic "rosbif" dinner, there was unanimous agreement that there was already more than enough food in play. Even now, the idea of having that beef, potatoes, carrots, Yorkshire puddings and gravy before me, as my digestive system wrestled with the voluminous quantities of rich, delicious food makes me blanch a little. Another time, I hope!
Even without the immensity of the foregone main course, digging into the final two offerings required a resolute disposition (and gratitude for the space of time the dinner is served over!).
The penultimate serving was a Mexican black bean soup with chorizo and blacke3ned chicken - immaculate! Perfectly spiced and garnished with a few splashes of lime juice, with hearty sausage and tender, flavourful chicken in almost every spoonful. Ironic how one of my least favourite films of the series inspired one of my favourite dishes of the night.
It was not quite 1 a.m. when we got to dessert - a delicious crème brûlée. With the lateness of the hour and the length of the day for the cook, it is perhaps no wonder that the only other mishap of the evening was a bit of over-carbonization of the most centrally located custards. The remainder, despite a hint of smokiness, were amazing, and the perfect capstone for the evening.
By 2:00 almost everyone had said their goodbyes and Audrey and I toddled off to bed, with tipsy heads, full stomachs and hearts overflowing from connecting with friends after what felt like an interminable period of isolation.
Pete and Ellen's upcoming nuptials mean that this will be the last Geekquinox until spring 2023, but we are already looking forward to it, and I am certain the other guests are too!
But this would-be villain is still glad that the tenderloin never made it to the table...