Nine Decades, Two Continents and Six Children; Gerrit Top, 1932 - 2023

Even when it is inevitable and arguably even a blessing, death is almost impossible for us to accept.

Audrey's father passed away peacefully on March 23, about five weeks after Jenny, his wife of nerly 63 years, finally accepted that she could not care for him at home any longer. My own mother faced the same agonizing decision with my father, and all the reassurances in the world are not enough to salve the pernicious pain of feeling like you have betrayed a loved one.

After a rough start at the facility in Calgary, realizing he was not there to visit, Gerrit quickly accepted his situation, telling his visitors and caregivers that it was actually "a pretty nice hotel." His children made certain that Mom was able to visit him every day from High River. But his condition and level of comfort worsened until he finally passed away early in the morning the Thursday before last. 

Audrey's father and I could hardly be more opposite and like a lot of dads, his relationship with his children, particularly his three daughters, was complex. But his ethos of honesty and hard work are difficult to deny. 

Growing up not only during the Great Depression but also under Nazi occupation in Holland greatly shaped his attitudes and priorities. When he at last established his own farm, he put in over thirty years of back-breaking, risky toil, a veritable serf to his own fields and livestock. But he did so without complaint and had little respect for those who groused about their relative misfortune.

The burial and memorial service were both held yesterday in High River, and Gerrit's second-oldest son, Garett, delivered the eulogy. After the service, I told him, as someone who has shared the awful privilege of eulogizing a parent, how good a job he'd done. Garett was grateful but expressed a concern he had maybe run on too long, something I did my best to dispute. "Your father," I said, "was a ...difficult man to encapsulate," which made him smile and nod.

How do you take the measure of a man after he has gone, particularly one whose life was so long and so wide-ranging? I had known the story about Gerrit narrowly escaping a roundup of Dutch men and boys in his village of Putten who were then sent to a labour camp, where most of them perished. But hearing Garett attribute his father's mistrust of police to the fact the roundup was accomplished not by Nazi soldiers, but by police officers from Putten, fellow Dutchmen, was a revelation. 

It could be said that Gerrit Top was a hard man, and hard men may be difficult to like. But if so, his hardness also gave him the strength to endure so many hardships and obstacles, and a job that has buckled or broken many a man. 

But the true measure of Gerrit Top can be seen in the family he leaves behind, including his beloved wife Jenny, his six children and 13 grandchildren, including my own two daughters. Watching his offspring, as well as many grandchildren and extended family, come together to comfort each other and to support their mother was honestly awe-inspiring, and lends so much credence to Gerrit's own claim that the greatest thing he had ever done was to have children.

I say this with caution, knowing how much the man hated to be bored, but Gerrit, I earnestly pray that you rest in peace.

Gerrit's Obituary

Gerrit went peacefully to be with his Lord on Thursday, March 23, 2023 at AgeCare Midnapore, Calgary, AB. He was born August 21, 1932 to Gerrit and Aalbertha Top at Putten, Gelderland, Holland and was the third of four children.

After six weeks in army training in 1952, he received his papers to immigrate to Canada where he was sponsored by the Donkersgoed family at Iron Springs, AB. There he met Jenny Oldenburger at the Iron Springs Christian Reformed Church. They married in April 1960 and had six children.

His first years in Canada were spent working in the sugar beet fields around Iron Springs before going on to work building elevators with the Alberta Wheat Pool in a variety of locations in the province. He and Jenny began their life on a small dairy farm outside of Turin, AB until 1969. From there they moved to Parkland, AB for a year and then settled on a farm at Cayley, AB where he developed another dairy operation and farmed there until 2004.

He semi-retired, built a house and shop just outside High River where he still had beef cattle. In July 2021, he and Jenny moved into town until the time of his passing.

Gerrit had a lifelong love for farming, working with cows and the land which he never quit doing until the last two years or so. He loved to travel throughout the world with Jenny and they were able to go to many locations in Europe, South Africa, Central America, Mexico and Canada. His favourite activities included camping and Sunday afternoon drives where he could appreciate the beauty of the world God has blessed us with.

Over the years he was involved in church, Pro-Life, High River Rotary Club, Foothills M.D. as a councillor for 9 years, curling, woodworking, trees and landscaping and many other interests.

He is survived by his wife of almost 63 years, Jenny and 6 children: Betty (Hank Klooster), Rocky Mountain House, AB, Jack (Angie), Blackie, AB, Garett (Sherry), Brant, AB, Vera, High River, AB, Audrey (Stephen Fitzpatrick), Edmonton, AB and Alan (Cristin), Cayley, AB. He is also survived by his grandchildren Jenna, Mark, Kara-Lynn, Jasmine, Alex, Trey, Bryce, Fenya, Glory, Micheal, Briely, Austin and Dominic as well as 8 great-grandchildren.

He was predeceased by his parents, Gerritt and Aalbertha, his brothers Heimen and Henk in Holland, his brother, Wim, from South Africa, one sister-in-law, four brothers-in-law as well as a number of his adopted Donkersgoed family members.