Last weekend we were playing bocce with my sister-in-law and her family at their place in Rocky Mountain House. One of her teammates' shots moved the pallino, or target ball, so instead of her team getting three points, my team got one. The shooter was upset while Betty was largely philosophical, and shrugged, saying "Well, shit happens."
I interjected. "You know, when people said that around my mum, she always said the same thing: "It does not just happen - it's created by an asshole."
Betty looked at me and grinned. "Your mom was a smart lady. I'm gonna use that one for certain!"
I've mentioned this favourite aphorism of my mother's to a few people. She did not come up with it, but it was definitely closely associated with her. And while it might not be true in every single case, I think the wisdom contained in it is very nearly indisputable.
My mother had a pretty simple outlook on life and a very, very low tolerance for bullshit. She believed everyone deserved to be treated with dignity and respect and treated people accordingly. When someone at the Legion told her they wouldn't watch the Rick MercerReport anymore since they learned the host was gay, she said, "Suit yourself, but you know he was gay before you found out, right? Was he funny then?"
The growing opposition some uptight people are increasingly bold about displaying when it has no real impact on their lives is not only puzzling to me, but also troubling. I thought we had reached a kind of live-and-let-live detente of some kind where a minority of people who felt sexual relations between folks of the same (or multiple, or indeterminate, or whatever gender) was unnatural were going to largely keep their opinions to themselves, and the rest of us were going to keep on letting consenting adults get married, increasing equality and diversity and not worry about it too much.
What happened?
Now we have a nervy granddad calling a 9-year-old girl 'trans" at a school track meet in Kelowna, jackasses regularly vandalizing rainbow crosswalks across my province, and an idiot hijacked the city council meeting in the town I grew up in to talk about how upset (some) people are with Pride events and that certain herbicides can reassign genders if you breathe them. And all while he bragged about being in the Freedumb Convoy, Canda's more polite version of the January 6 insurrection!
Our church hosts a table each year at the St. Albert Pride Festival each year, and to be honest, I was pretty relieved when I turned up and there wasn't a gauntlet of protesters to wade through. Talking to a table visitor about it (after we celebrated that St. Albert United is no longer Alberta's northernmost Affirming ministry since Grande Prairie had become Affirming the week before!), and asked her where she thought it came from.
"I think it's political," she said without hesitation. "I think there are structures and organizations that benefit greatly from such a distracted populace."
The fact that so many wrong and wrong-headed people are clearly getting their misinformation from some single source really makes me wonder if she is right; Phil McDavid, the mental giant who derailed Leduc's council meeting, and his wife Laurel claimed that the additional colours in the Progress Pride flag (which stand for marginalized people of colour in the LGBTQ+ community as well as trans and bisexual folks) actually refer to "bestiality, necrophilia and pedophilia." This bizarre, unprovable and let me state again, clearly wrong interpretation still drew applause from the other bigots they had seeded the crowd with.
A few months, two men took it upon themselves to enter my church and interrupt Bible study and accost the people there with the same nonsensical accusation. Part of me wishes I had been there, but a wiser part knows it is better I wasn't, and I am grateful that Rev. Mervin was able to firmly but gently show them the door.
I hate thinking like a conspiracy theorist, but the unanimity, the level of organization, the clear lines of communication, it all makes it easier to believe that someone or some group is pushing this hateful disinformation. They then cloak it in "what about the children? Leave our kids alone!" (despite the fact that it is statistically verifiable that straight, cis-gendered men known to the family are far more of a threat to children than gay strangers) so that people without the capacity for critical thought or independent reasoning feel prompted to act.
Today's article in The Guardian about American evangelists lobbying the government of Uganda since 2009 to help them pass anti-LGBTQ+ legislation brought another level of focus to the picture. Not enough to stop it, sadly, but enough to recognize it as the pernicious threat it is, rather than the annoyance it likely appears to be to the majority of straight people.
Same-sex relationships are now punishable by death in Uganda, where people don't have the same resources to combat the misinformation. And the "minivan Taliban" (as Jim "Stonekettle Wright refers to them) would be happy to see similar treatment here in North America. So perhaps that is the anal orifice that this particular type of fecal material is emanating from, hmm?
On the plus side though, the towns that stood up to these small-minded bigots enjoyed their Pride observances, even when they felt obliged to hire extra security for them. Most allies have not turned and fled, but instead doubled down. This is a setback, not an upset, even when it is upsetting.
But watching the legislative backsliding of LGBTQ+ rights in many U.S. states and knowing there are people who want the same thing here in Canada (and especially Alberta), and that they are working to make it happen, has redoubled my own resolve when it comes to calling out the bigotry and hate and disinformation when I see it.
Be like my Mum: don't take shit when it is offered to you. And remind people that it doesn't just happen.
It always comes from an asshole.
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