Pulpitations: Look Both Ways

(Today I delivered a sermon on the occasion of our ninth anniversary as an Affirming Ministry. I will be honest, I was pretty angry when preparing this sermon, and you can hear it in my voice several times if you watch the video here (password is S A U C o n g r e e n (remove spaces), sermon begins at 33:35). But despite the twists and turns the reflection took, I was both chagrined and satisfied with the results. The scriptures referenced are included at the end.)

Look Both Ways

Today is our ninth anniversary of becoming an Affirming Ministry! We did this through the guidance of and assistance from Affirm United.

This is why today’s choir anthem, “Umojo Tunaimba (United We Stand)”  or United We Sing, felt like such an appropriate choice. 

Coincidentally, it is also United Nations Sunday, because October 24, 1945 is the date the charter of the United Nations was signed.

Gosh, I have to say, it doesn’t feel like we live in a united nation at the moment - but to be fair, have we ever?

Over its history, Canada has probably spent more time divided than unified, if we are being honest about it: east versus west, French versus English, Leafs versus Habs (et al) and now a lot of left versus right.

And somehow, trying to advance the cause of equality, respect and inclusion for our 2SLGBTQIA+ family has gotten dragged into that last one. Which I have to admit, I find hard to understand. 

Do folks believe that no gay people want lower taxes? That no trans people desire smaller government? That there isn’t a 2-spirited person out there somewhere who thinks commerce is overregulated? 

But whatever the reason, some people have found it advantageous to just draw an enormous line through everything with big “US and “THEM” signs on either side. And as a result of this, it feels sometimes like society in general has lost some ground in obtaining and maintaining that progress .

The congregation of St. Albert United Church voted to sanctify same-sex marriages in 2009 following months of deliberative dialogue to ensure all perspectives were being heard. In 2012 we began the educational and reflective elements needed to become an Affirming Ministry and in 2014 we voted to become one by a significant majority. 

But it is worth noting that it is was not unanimous, and that is fine. Reasonable can agree to disagree.

But the whole time we were moving forward, it felt like there was much less, and much less organized opposition to our stance. Drag storytime protests and similar expressions of hostility are happening across North America, but let’s focus locally for a moment.

In St. Albert this June, two people left anti-2SLGBTQIA+ literature scattered around two playgrounds. 

Playgrounds - let that marinate a bit.

That same month, a red F-350 was captured on video doing a burnout on this city’s Pride crosswalk, a distressingly common trend in this province.

The city I grew up in, Leduc, had a crank show up at their council meeting from the Freedumb Convoy (that’s freedom with a “b”, by the way) and rant about government chemicals changing people’s genders against their will while his wife complained that some colours in the progress pride flag, like the one we have, condone necrophilia and bestiality - which, you probably don’t need to be told, is completely false. 

And most recently, there was a ‘Million Person March’ across the nation alleging to support parent’s rights, but was in fact a hate march protesting schools that include SOGI or sexual orientation and gender identity teaching in their curriculum.

I’m sorry, but this stuff gets me all kinds of riled up, to the point where later on in this reflection I am going to use a naughty word, so I will apologize in advance, and want you to have adequate time to prepare. Buckle up, everyone.

That march made me the angriest of all, for a couple reasons. First by trying to wrap hatred and intolerance under the banner of “protect our kids!” After all, what kind of scumbag doesn’t want to protect kids? How much support did these people gain by this misdirection? How much opposition did they prevent?

While this March was preparing, our church sign read, “We love and support our trans kids & everyone else!” I posted a picture of it on my Instagram, along with my concerns about the million person march. I was delighted to get a call from someone saying they never would have known this group’s real motivation, and might have tacitly approved of the march if I hadn’t done that.

This person ended up driving past marchers in a community close to the Saskatchewan border, and they wondered, “how many of the children that got dragged out to this event or just witnessing it are going to be afraid to share who they are in the future?” How many lesbian or gay teens will keep that closet door firmly closed? How many trans children will fear telling their parents how they feel, and may not even be able to discuss their gender identity or chosen pronouns with adults at school?

Do you understand what a powerful motivator fear is? And how those march organizers and the anonymous leaflet droppers and the people who picket drag storytime at libraries, that is exactly what they want? They want sexual minorities and the people who support them to be afraid. 

To be quiet.

To mind their place.

And that infuriates me.

It angers me as a citizen. It angers me as a person with gay and bi and queer people in my life. And it angers me as a person of faith.

But let’s start with applying just a smidgen of logic to one of these circumstances: the SOGI curriculum. I wish I could tell the marchers that this curriculum is not designed to “teach” or “indoctrinate” or “groom” (ooh, that one gets my goat) anyone. And if you try to suggest otherwise to a teacher, they are likely to laugh in your face. A teacher from Philadelphia tweeted “I'm a Leftist public school teacher and if I could Indoctrinate your children they would wear deodorant and stay off their phone during class.”

SOGI is no more likely to change your child’s orientation or identity than learning French is going to make them into a separatist, or studying the Russian Revolution will make them vote Marxist. 

Teachers are trying to prepare children for the diversity of the world they actually live in. No 14-year-old should be shocked at discovering that a kid in their algebra class has two moms or two dads. Or upset because past pictures of a boy in yearbook club used to identify as a girl. 

And as far as parental rights go, no one is stopping you from presenting an opposing paradigm at home. You want to teach your kid that Covid vaccines let satellites track you or that the earth is flat, it is not like anyone can stop you, sadly.

In fact, the most haunting image from that entire terrifying March was that sweet-faced kid, six, maybe seven years old, coming to the mic at the alleged million-person march in Calgary to say “I'd like to say that the gays are psychopaths and we're not psychopaths." And getting applauded for it.

And going on to say, "The gays, they are disgusting!"

To even more cheers. And I am enraged.

Because that kid’s family has successfully taught a child to hate. A child looking for the fish of wisdom was given instead the snake of bigotry. What a loss!

And thinking of that situation, and the crosswalks, and the lady in California who was shot to death because of the Pride flag she flew in her shop window, my anger increases at this wrong-headed judgementalism. And I know deep, deep in my heart that this is not the world God wants for us, for anyone, and I turn to the scriptures to back me up.

(Which, by the way, may well be the very worst thing you can do.)

But I do it anyways, and I have that “a-ha” moment looking at Matthew chapter 7: “‘Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgement you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.”  That’s right, how dare those folks be so judgey!

And, “‘Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them underfoot and turn and maul you.” And I think to myself, ‘that’s right - there is no arguing with those people!’ It’s like my dad used to say, “Son, don’t was time arguing with an idiot - they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

But as I reflect on that passage, a strange insight occurs to me: what am I, at this moment, if not the judgiest one of all?

And I read Matthew again, but this time, different parts stand out for me, like  “Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbour, “Let me take the speck out of your eye”, while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye.”

And I am not going to lie - I came away a bit shamed. How foolish of me! How selfish and short-sighted! If you apply the teaching of Jesus without compassion, you stand in direct opposition to his ethos! I forgot that childhood lesson that when you point a finger at someone else, three are pointing back at you.

I didn’t consider other perspectives - I failed to look both ways.

But even in the cold light of this revelation, my anger remained unabated. 

And I struggled to take another look, and ask myself, where is all their anger coming from?

The same place mine comes from - fear.

And what is generating their fear? It could be a lot of things: the fear of change, fear of ‘the other’, fear of appearing ignorant, fear of the unknown. But a lot of that fear comes from straight-up misinformation. Some of the people saying the vilest, wrongest things are doing so because of “the mushroom effect” (and here comes the bad word, by the way): they are being kept in the dark and fed a steady diet of bullshit.

And uniting against that is a toughie in this age of “alternative facts”! But there is ground to be gained in speaking the truth - softly, but firmly, asserting what is correct, and fact-based and unassailable.

For example, just before Pride observances in Poland, someone on social media posted that the army would be creating “LGBTQ units.” This was, of course, untrue, but gave outraged people a chance to vet about how gay people should be burned at the stake. 

In France, a false report that the Arc de Triomphe had been turned into a rainbow art installation went viral and generated similar slurs and calls for execution.

Here in Canada, supporting initiatives like SOGI in schools is likely to get you called a ‘groomer’ by indignant but misguided folks who feel children are being endangered when they aren’t.

And you won’t get very far just telling the people making these claims that they are wrong; after all, very few people have ever changed their minds from being yelled at. But you can engage some critical thinking. You can ask them if this is what they know, what they believe, or what they have been told. When it is the latter, you can simply say, “I don’t think that is actually true.”  or “I think someone made that up. That seems really unlikely.”

Find that common ground! The alleged Million Person March got traction because almost everyone recognizes that children are the future and need to be protected. But they don’t need to be protected against ideas so much as against hatred. In the end, we should all of us want to protect children. So ask; “what is it you want to protect them from?” Or “what is your endgame here? Do you think being gay should be illegal again? Surely you don’t agree with persecuting people because of their differences, do you?”

And when they say parent’s rights are being trampled, you can say, “Can’t children of any age learn about different people in an age-appropraite way?” or, “how does it harm children to learn that some of their classmates might have two mothers instead of a mum and dad?”

And when they say that our 2SLGBTQIA+ family are an affront to God or not worthy of God’s love, we can quietly affirm that “I was taught that God loves all the people they created.” And that we believe God has made them as perfect as the rest of us, like in the psalm we heard:

For it was you who formed my inward parts;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
    Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well.
    My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,

I guess I am asking them, do you think God makes mistakes? Do you believe every person who identifies as queer or gay or transexual is some error God made, even as many of these same folks assert to feeling God’s healing presence in their life, and that is despite the concerted efforts of other people of faith who want them to feel dirty, substandard and excluded!? 

Would you tell God, to their face, that they were wrong to do this? Or is it more reasonable to accept that maybe you need a little more time to adjust to some new ideas?

What are your kids going to do in the workforce when they have a coworker who is two-spirited? Or a boss with a same-sex partner? When one of their friends reveals that their child is trans? Will they turn away help from a lesbian paramedic or just curse them under their breath?

Sometimes combatting misinformation isn’t all that hard. Last week, some colleagues in my Teams chat at work were discussing violence at their children’s schools, and one claimed the decrease in civility is because parents are too busy teaching ‘sex stuff’ instead of addressing bullying.  And I know from experience that ‘sex stuff’ is too often a dog-whistle referring to things like SOGI.

Rather than refute their point though, I simply posted, “gonna say that both those things are important,” and a gay colleague immediately chimed in with how, in one of the altercations described, some education could have gone a long way to preventing it.

I am not naive enough to think this person changed their mind, but they heard another perspective and most importantly, they know that more than one person challenged their assertion. I only wish their kids had heard it too!

And it will not always be easy like that - you do not want to engage angry people when they are hotted up. You do not want them to feel threatened. You will want to proceed cautiously around those you love and respect with differing opinions. But asking them to clarify their position when they are acting reasonable can provide some insights.

So much bad info comes from social media. In a perfect world there would be more moderation and supervision of online comments, but the multi-billionaire owners of the various platforms spreading disinformation and misinformation have shown little to no inclination to keeping it in check.

So that leaves us. 

The teachings of Jesus and the scriptures that guide him all encourage us to seek and speak the truth. He asks us to love one another, and to turn the other cheek. And of course reasonable people can agree to disagree. But in the end, we can’t turn our back on those people with other perspectives and let them become more entrenched.

And we don’t have to win, we just have to not give up! Don’t judge, but don’t budge either! Reach people where they are at, and remember to look both ways! Don’t yield any ground to untruths! Speak up in favour of justice and compassion! Say something!

When we say “unite”, we should not mean uniting against folks - we need to unite with people! 

Who knows - maybe we can become a united nation after all. I pray that with God’s help we get there, however long it takes.

Amen

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Psalm 139, 1-6, 13-18

The Inescapable God

O Lord, you have searched me and known me.

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

   you discern my thoughts from far away.

You search out my path and my lying down,

    and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

    O Lord, you know it completely.

You hem me in, behind and before,

    and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

    it is so high that I cannot attain it.



For it was you who formed my inward parts;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

    Wonderful are your works;

that I know very well.

    My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.

In your book were written

    all the days that were formed for me,

    when none of them as yet existed.

How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God!

    How vast is the sum of them!

I try to count them—they are more than the sand;

    I come to the end—I am still with you.



In our Gospel reading, we hear Jesus cautioning us on rushing to judgement, as well as sound advice on how to find answers. These are familiar lessons, and yet, how often do we need to be reminded of them before putting them into practice?

Matthew 7:1-12 - Judging Others

‘Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgement you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbour, “Let me take the speck out of your eye”, while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye.

‘Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you.

‘Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

‘In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.'