Sunday, August 23, 2026

Trade Wars: The Stupid Continues

On Friday night, Audrey and I made a rare appearance at a house party:


It was good time, in part because we knew what side of this nonsensical referendum the other guests would be on, even though there was little talk of it. Seeing Gord Downie's final performance while chit chatting friends and strangers was moving and bittersweet, and it is hard to believe it happened a decade ago.

There was, I think, a little talk about the recent trade talks and the threat of 50% tariffs by the Orange Menace, but early Friday evening, following a three-day pause in the implementation of said tariffs, it seemed like a deal was within reach.

The next day it wasn't.

The deal was scrapped, reportedly after Commerce Secretary and Trump minion Howard Lutnick swooped in at the eleventh hour with new conditions, including:

  • the ending of supply management for Canadian dairy (lol - no)
  • cessation of French language labelling requirements on goods sold in Canada (ah, non)
  • the right of approval for Canadian trade deals made with other countries (seriously, what the eff?)

So Prime Minister Mark Carney told our team to pack up and head home, and announced a number of things, including our own retaliatory tariffs, which other US officials have previously 'warned Canada against doing' (again, what the actual eff?).

Now I am not a Carney die-hard because, well, he is a filthy rich banker pushing some questionable legislation at times, but there is no questioning he is the right guy to have at the wheel at this moment in time, with you-know-who still stinking up the Oval Office another couple of years. Carney is objectively a smart, smart dude, particularly in regards to Economics, but more importantly, I think he honestly does have the best interests of an independent and united Canada in mind.

Any single one of those three items Nutlick brought to the table at the eleventh hour were deal-breakers, so if you think there was never any real intention of doing a deal, well, there are plenty of folks who agree with you. 

His speech regarding the breakdown in negotiations include describing the USA signature as "written in pencil," a poignant way to describe a country or at least an administration acting outside of the CUSMA agreement their own guy created in 2020. I prefer Wab Kinew's assertion that "you can't make a good deal with bad people."

And obviously this whole situation is unfortunate for a number of reason, not the least of which is this: no one 'wins' in a trade war.

But when Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy goes on camera with the fascist lickspittles at Fox News and lets a stream of abject lies pour out of his cakehole without any pushback, it underscores how far our relationship with our closest neighbout and (still) largest trading partner has fallen.

According to Duffy, Careny wiull have to come back to the table because Canada "doesn't have a military," and lives (ungratefully, I imagine) under US protection, in addition to having "record high euthanasia rates."

I'm not going to debate a guy about the morality of medical assistance in dying when he lives in a country where 14% of the population has over $1000 in medical debt and a cancer diagnosis can wipe out generational wealth even if you have insurance - our countries clearly have different priorities and I prefer ours.

But to have a US cabinet member ignore our military after 158 Canadian Armed Forces member died in Afghanistan following 9/11, to say nothing of fighting shoulder to shoulder in two world wars that they were late to the party for? 

Unforgivable.

And I mean, I really shouldn't be surprised - this same selective amnesia came into play when Canada opted out of going into Iraq for DEseRt sToRm Too: This Time It's Familial, so either we are ungrateful fair-weather friends or the other side's idea of loyalty is of the "but what have you done for me lately" variety.

So, yeah, out here, past the hundredth meridian (where the great plains begin), the elbows are going up even higher in this household, and across much of the country. Will I miss bourbon? You bet. But there are great alternatives closer to home.


The Economist described Carney's approach as "defiance," an objectionable characterization in my eyes since it implies that Trump/ the USA are to be obeyed under most circumstances, which I clearly refute. But if you go with Merriam-Webster's second definition: "Resist or withstand: To be completely unaffected by or able to hold out against an attempt or force," I am somewhat mollified.

Because these attacks have done more to unite Canada than anything outside the Olympics, and that makes us considerably more formidable. The French language exclusion item has even driven the CBC's French learning app, Mauril, to #2 on the educational apps chart!

And historically, Canada has tended to emerge from these situations largely intact, eventually, as Tod Maffin outlines here:


To sum up then: trade wars are as dumb as hatchet fights: they injure both parties and it is difficult, bordering on impossible, to clearly determine a 'winner.'

But on the other hand, dropping the hatchet or turning your back on someone still holding onto theirs might be even dumber. So what do we need right now?

"Courage - my word"
- Gordon Downie / Gordon Sinclair / Johnny Fay / Paul Langlois / Robert Baker (The Tragically Hip)

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