The Flex, Onward to Wheelhalla

Our societal reliance on automobiles is by no means a great thing, but an interesting side-effect in some cases are the attachments we develop to these animate objects. I feel like these thoughts and feelings are like energy - is it possible they go someplace?

I hate buying vehicles - I don't feel I have the power or even inclination to negotiate effectively and as a result I probably paid too much for a two-year-old, high-mileage vehicle in 2012. But our 2002 Taurus wagon was getting long in the tooth and the transmission a little sloppy, so rather than take it over the mountains in December to visit my mum in Osoyoos, we traded it in for a 2010 Ford Flex with spotty paint on the hood and 72,000 klicks on it already. It ended up being the best vehicle we ever owned.

Part of that quality was in the reliability - outside of wear and tear items like brakes and shocks, it never needed any sort of real mechanical work until it had over a quarter million km on the clock, and precious little even after that.

The Flex was also renowned for its interios space, seating seven (if a couple of them were petite. It also had an enormous cargo capacity, one time allowing us to move a thre-person sofa from Leon's to home (with the driver's seat pushed up uncomfortably close to he steerig wheel but still...

G&G 2016

My affection for the Flex far transcended its steadfast nature or the fact it was a smart purchase. The bulk of the mileage may have been the 35 km commute for eight years, but that rig took us the four of us (and two different dogs) to so many places, starting with Waterton National Park and Going-to-the-Sun Road in 2014.

Going to the Sun Road 2014

Vancouver Island Road Trip 2015

Kootenay National Park 2017

Glory's 18th Covid Birthday 2020

And not enough pictures were taken inside of the Flex, where a comfortable second row bench seat accommodated both kids watching musicals on long road trips, and grownups wanting to sleep, read, or even have a beer while watching the scenery. 

To Thompson MB 2013

Going to the Sun Road 2014

Glacier NP 2014

Suffice to say, the Flex has been our trusted steed and what feels like our boon companion for some time now - more than half of Fenya's life, as it turns out!

But all good things must come to an end, and it has been five years now since we passed this milestone while driving to Jasper.

September 2021, outside Edson

We ordered a replacement vehicle in January of '24, and the 'Lander finally arrived on Easter of '25. Fenya has been driving the Flex since then, and I sold it to her in February of this year so she could eventually sell it for a decent commuter ride. A couple months after that, the terminal diagnosis arrived: oil and coolant leakages, costing a prohibitive amount to repair.

Fenya continued to drive it cautiously, palliatively perhaps, until she replaced it with a 2015 Escape a couple of weeks ago. Unwilling to endure the nuisance and tire-kickers that a private sale would require, she ended up calling Pick n Pull who were willing to pay a modest amount. They arrived to tow it away last Tuesday.

We watched from the living room window as the unlit taillights receded from view for the final time, and Fenya said, "Is it weird that I feel a little sad to see it go?"

I shook my head. "Not at all," I said. "That car was a big part of our lives for 14 years. It took you to school and choir and dance, carried us all to Thompson or Hudson Bay on our way to Churchill maybe a dozen times, towed the trailer out to our campsites every summer, including a big trip to Vancouver Island...It never let us down, never stranded us, got us and sometimes lots of stuff to where we were going without fail."

"I think it is natural for us to have some affections for things that serve us so well for so long. And just because we know rationally that the Flex doens't have a mind or spirit or soul, deosn't mean that all those feelings we attached to you it over so many years are without significance."

She nodded. "I feel more like I am saying goodbye to family pet or something."

"I know!" I replied. "Like we are telling ourselves the Flex is going to live on a farm or something, like a horse being ut out to pasture..."

And as much as I would have loved to find a family with kids who needed something to get them to school and who knew a mechanic who could keep it running for a while, there was no chance of doing that in a timely fashion. Having the parts go to keep other cars on the road a little longer feels like the best alternative; more like an organ donation and less like a horse being put out to pasture, or other outcomes.

But at the same time, all those thoughts, those memories, that simply preposterous affection for an almalgamation of metal, plastic and wires - where do they go?

I don't even know how I feel about a possible afterlife for humans, let alone automobiles, but a part of me hopes that the Flex is remembered for a while, for its faithful service and the journeys and adventures it facilitated. That somewhere beyond the finite, those thoughts and feelings aglomerate and take on some sort of substance extraneous to we who constructed them.

If there is a Wheelhalla, I hope our Flex is there, honoured and celebrated as it is truly due. Perhaps it can meet the cars of my ancestors, like the TravelAll that brought us to Alberta when I was six, or my father's Ford Falcon from before I was born.

Ah, it's a nonsensical idea. But I tell you with only a small degree of embarassment that when I walked Canéla on Tuesday morning before the tow truck arrived, I made sure we passed the Flex and I patted its hood and I said aloud, "thanks, and Godspeed."

The One I Missed - Autumnal Geekquinox 2026

Yesterday I tendered my most sincere regrets for my first Geekquinox dinner since Pete started hosting them way back in 2011.

It couldn't be helped; the cold I am fighting settled into my chest, and even if I was feeling better, I would not risk infecting everyone else. So Audrey went without me and I went to bed before 11 and didn't wake up until the following afternoon.

But I was still up when Audrey came home and showed me the wee takeaway container Pete and Ellen had put together for me and I was very nearly overwhelmed. 

And I know Pete appreciates seeing his excellent work commemorated on my blog, so I am using the frayed remainder of my faculties to put together my first takeaway Geekquinox post!

The theme this time was another "Best of" dinner, where guests were encouraged to reflect back over their favourite dishes from the previous thirty-odd Geekquinoxes (Geekquinoctes?) and submit their requests - a task as laborious as it was elementary. There are too many excellent dishes to choose from to make the decisions easy, and compound that with my own increasingly unreliable memory...

Surprisingly, my memory came up with a suggestion without delay, which I kept to myself, knowing the difficulty in preparing the dish. But when Pete re-entered the email thread looking for more suggestions, I ventured forth: "If you are going wide open, it is impossible for me to pass up the opportunity for Beef Wellington..."m a sentiment quickly seconded by another guest.

In case you are unaware, Beef Wellington is a notoriously tricky dish consisting of a beef tenderloin slathered in a mushroom and herb mince paste (duxelles), then baked whole inside puff pastry. It is exquisite, and possibly the very tastiest beef dish I have ever eaten. I have only had it once, and if Pete ever goes vegan, odds are I will never have it again, because I simply do not have the minerals to attempt it myself.

But he's a game fish, our Pete is, so he added it to the menu!

He even sent a picture of it the night before, showing it in its uncooked state!

Obviously less than half the menu was suitable for leftovery so I cannot comment on the hamachi shots (one of my all time faves as well) or the pear and pomegranate salad, but for a dinner party I wasn't even at, my takeaway box was substantial:

Inside you can see (from left) a robust slice of Beef Wellington, an atomic buffalo turd and three different types of compound butter.

I started with the ABT, a crowd hit that, blessedly, returns periodically and is more welcome than the swallows of Capistrano. A halved and seeded jalapeno pepper, stuffed with cayenne-enhanced cream cheese, topped with a piece of smoked sausage, wrapped in bacon and smoked on Pete's Big Green Egg before being drizzled with homemade barbecue sauce.

Reheating it in the microwave meant I lost a little bit of the cream chese filling - maybe misplaced is better than lost, as even the attempted runaways were apprehended and devoured. The filing tasted a little spicier than usual to me, but not unpleasantly, although perhaps this wasn't the best thing to break my fast with? Whatevs. Still one of the most delicious appies out there.

While I waited for the beef to heat up on a foil-wrapped tray in the oven, I turned my attention to the compound butters and the two dinner rolls that had accompanied them. The honey was delicious, even though I am more of a savoury than sweet guy, the garlic was amazing, but the blue cheese remains my favourite.

By the time I was done using a bun corner to mop out the buttery end of the dish, the oven timer beeped and I removed the foil, putting the tray back in to give the pastry a fighting chance after a night in a fridge and 20 minutes under aluminum..

This seems to have worked as the beef was well heated all the way through (and it was a bit of a slab) but the pastry maintained a bit of crispiness as well.

From an experimental point of view, I probably should have tried a bit of the beef from the centre by itself, to see if the flavour from the duxelles permeated that far on its own, but in truth, I just could not be arsed. Each fork was a careful composition of beef, pastry and delicious mince, in a variety of concentrations, and all of them were exquisite. Like, I don't want to oversell this, but from my perspective, Beef Wellington is a perfect balance of texture and flavour. The rich sharpness of the duxelles complements the pastry precisely, and the beef was a tender medium rare that a man with no teeth could have enjoyed. Amazing!

I paused in my writing to take the Key lime pie from the refrigerator and eat it. As expected, it does not disappoint! Tart, swet, tangy and creamy on that classic graham cracker crust. The only disappointg part was that I neglected to photograph it before demolishing it. Delicious!

So here I sit, a day later, still ill, but comforted by delicious homemade food. I lament not catching up with my friends and the stories and jokes that were no doubt shared, but take even more contentment from the sentiments of the other guests (and hosts!), and knowing we will all be together again before too long. 

Thanks again Pete and Ellen!

Oil Crisis (of Conscience)

It could have been practically anyone else, but last week, the Edmonton Oilers announced the signing of Alex Formenton, one of the "London Five."  These are the infamous players from the national juniors team who were arrested in 2024 for an alleged sexual assault that took place in London, Ontario in 2018. All 5 players were acquitted.

The circumstances of the case are troubling and the details can be found elsewhere, but at the end of the day, a young woman agreed to go back to a hotel room with a young hockey player, but more teammates showed up by his invitation. Questions remain about what consent actually means when you are potentially inebriated, as well as intimidated and outnumbered 5:1 by burly hockey players.

After the acquittal in tJuly of 2025, their collective suspension from the NHL stood until they were reinstated by the league and eligible to return after December 2025. Two other members of the five have found a home on NHL teams as well, Dillon Dubé for the St. Louis Blues and Carter Hart, whose playoff run with the Vegas Knights last year was marked by opposing fans chanting "no means no" whenever he took to the ice. The players' union (NHLPA) argued that all the players should have been eligible to return to work following their acquittal despite breaching the NHL code of conduct. 

And this is the argument many people are making to defend the Oilers decision to offer a place to Formenton: without a guilty charge, without a league suspension, why shouldn't the Oilers give him a second chance? It's not like he (or they) did anything illegal?

While this is true, it is not reasonable to say in this case that "not guilty" equates to "innocent."

Regardless of the ability to prove a case in a court of law, where the onus in sexual assault cases is on the accuser to prove their position, we can establish that some serious wrong was done, and that the players involved knew this.

People who say "it was consensual" or "that puck bunny wanted a wild night" are choosing to ignore text messages showing the second guessing by the players themselves ("am I allowed to do this?") and obvious attempts to get their stories straight. 

More damning though is the testimony from the victim, EM, herself, stating she tried to get dressed and leave multiple times, sometimes while crying, only to have her way blocked or an arm placed in front of her by one of the players.

None of this behaviour endears any of these males (I won't call them men) to me because I believe consent can be withdrawn at any time. I also believe that texting teammates with offers of a three-way or oral sex to indulge in porn film fantasies with an intoxicated woman is generally reprehensible.

But defenders are correct in their assertion that there was no crime committed. Guess what though?

That doesn't make it right. Not by a long chalk.

Formenton and the others didn't have to go to jail, fine. I won't think he should be denied a livelihood, even though at one point he had told everyone he had moved past hockey and was going to work in construction. No, playing hockey at a lower level in Switzerland is a perfectly acceptable form of 21st century exile. 

Why shouldn't the biggest league in hockey reserve itself for not only great athletes but also people of good, or at least decent, character?

Many Oilers fans are saying they have had enough. That the hiring of manager Stan Bowman (after not addressing the sexual abuse of one of his own players while managing with the Chicago Blackhawks), followed by Mike Babcock as coach (after being accused of brutally bullying his players and getting released by Columbus after demanding players show him the photo rolls on their phones) and now Formenton, is sending a message that this organization does not care about character, and are doublng down on a philosophy of not just winning first but winning only. That public perception is an afterthought, if it occurs to them at all.

I have to say I am most disappointed in Captain Connor McDavid. Let the front office make a business case justifying $850K for a reportedly average player who came very close to being a convicted sex offender, but the team captain? The guy supposed to lead on the ice and in the locker room? His statement on Formenton was the most vacuous of nothing-burgers: "“Listen, I think he’s gone through a process. He’s been transparent through the process, and that process has led him here today, and it’s a great opportunity for him.”

It was, perhaps unsurprisingly, nearly identical to Formenton's own statement: “I think throughout this whole process, I’ve been open and honest about my actions in it,” said Formenton afterward. “Given that, and being open and honest, I think that has granted me an opportunity today.” Where is the accountability? The compassion for the victim? The contrition? Has he ever asked for forgiveness?

Let's contrast McDavid's stale, canned response to Patrice Bergeron of the Boston Bruins. After learning that recently signed 20-year-old Mitch Miller had admitted in juvenile court to abusing, bullying and taunting a developmentally delayed classmate, calling him racial slurs and making him eat a candy that had been wiped in a urinal, that captain said, "To be honest with you, the culture that we’ve built here goes against that type of behavior. We’re a team that’s built something about character, character people and individuals. What he did, obviously, is unacceptable and we don’t stand by that.

"For me, I know for myself, anyways, in this locker room, we’re all about inclusion, diversity, respect. Those are key words and core values that we have. We expect guys to wear this jersey to be high-character people with integrity and respect. That’s how they should be acting."

The Bruins reversed the signing two days later.

Meanwhile in Edmonton, some fans are putting away their jerseys for the season. They are cancelling Sportsnet. They are refusing to buy tickets. 

Superfan Mama Stanley has not only withdrawn support for the team she once loved, but has started a petition asking the Oilers to reverse the decision to sign Formenton. "I've cried in waves," she writes, because I feel betrayed by an organization I have proudly loved and represented for years."

"Losing Game 7 two years ago meant losing a Stanley Cup; this feels like losing a team I have loved with all my heart for most of my life."

I came back to watching the Oilers after a long absence during their 2006 Cup run. I became a fan in part because of the guts and determination displayed by the team, but even more because of the character shown by players like Ryan Smyth.

I want to feel good about my team, that they are worth my time and loyalty. And this current iteration of the team just isn't.

So I am done, at least for this season.

I won't watch any games, even if they make it to the playoffs. I won't wear their jersey, I won't even follow their results on the news if I can help it. I have not only signed Mama Stanley's petition, I have donated funds to help circulate it. As of Sunday night, the petition has garnered 60,399 signatures. Wow!

Will the Oilers listen? I kind of doubt it. And that's their choice - after all, no one broke the law here. 

But by ignoring the outrage, regardless of ticket sales, they are setting themselves up to be the villains of the league, while burning up a half-century of pride, goodwill and community support.

PSA: The Alberta Referendumb

If you think it is dumb and needless, you're right!
If you think you can ignore it, you're wrong.

Having successfully broken public education and healthcare, the grifting monsters who run my province are turning their sights on Confederation now. 

To appease the Christian Nationalists and racists within their own base, the UCP is holding a non-binding referendum on October 19 to ask Albertans if the province should remain in Canada.

So yeah, it is a referendum asking if we should have another referendum. And this is after the greassroots organization Forever Canadian gathered 400,00 signatures in 90 days clearly stating, no, we do not want to separate! But no, instead, these signatures got lumped in with the allegedly 300,000 signatures the separatist movement collected over a longer time period.

Even more telling are the nine other questions on this ballot regarding immigration and the Canadian constitution. There are plenty of guides outlining them and how out of step with Canadian values they are, and I like this "kNOw the nine" guide by Alberta Voices, but at the end of the day, every yes answer to the nine other questions is support to the seppies, and I will not have it.

If you honestly believe that immigration and Federal intereference are the cause the majority or even a significant portion of our problems in Alberta and not this criminally incompetent provincial government, I assume you have either stopped reading already stopped reading or have been scared off by multisylabbic words.

If you are on the fence, or think that, given the amount of grumbling you are hearing, maybe the separatists have a point - please don't. Because they don't.

Separatism is a non-starter here. It has never polled above 20% and is not driven by any kind of vision of a prosperous future, but by the worst and miost divisive kind of grievance politics. Funded and supported by rich people and bot farms from outside of Canada, and even the Premier has admitted it. 

Don't believe me? Read the words of the people backing them up, like Mark Sylvestre, or Bruce McAllister or David Parker. 

Or, better yet, read their nonsensical "Transition Plan" that they recently released, and promises that this new nation will not be shattered by debt, ostracized by the rest of Canada and much of the western world, or susbsumed by the U.S. but be safe and prosperous right out of the gate, defended by noble unicorn cavalry and pigs delivering bitcoin royalty payments to all citizens. Or something.

At this point, if someone tells me they are actually planning to support separation in the referendum, my response is likely to be, "Really? See, I find that surprising because I know I don't know you all that well, but you don't come across as either a Christian Nationalist or an overt racist..."

Anyways, never mind all that - what's important is that even though this whole separatist vote thing is a non-starter, and a smokescreen for actual, fixable issues, every Albertan needs to show up.

Because every single separatist will vote.

And they are hoping you won't. 

The seppies are going to show up in droves, unless there is a literal earthquake or the polling station is in flames. And maybe even then. Low voter turnout drags this embarassing, economically damaging sideshow out even longer than it has already (and will likely continue until the UCP are voted out). 

And to make matters worse, the referndumb is not only needless, and expensive, it is procedurally a complete shitshow by any measure:

• Elections Alberta is understaffed
• Elections Alberta is underresourced - they were denied the additional funding they requested to deal with recall petitions earlier this year and this referendum
• Elections Alberta needs out-of-province help just to count the ballots in a reasonable amount of time.
• The ballot questions are poorly worded, which will cause confusion and long slow lines at polling stations
• Each ballot is its own, separate piece of paper which must be folded in a specific way to prevent spoiling (and adding still more time to the voting process)

So yeah, even without any sort of intimidation or interference at the polling places, the lineups are going to be ridiculous.

How to deal with it? Don't. 

Just don't go.

Request a special ballot and send it in by mail instead. 

Up until September 25, you can request a Special Ballot from Elections Alberta at this link, or in person at your local Returning Office. Answer all ten questions  and send them in by mail in a special envelope early enough that they are received by 5:00 p.m. October 16.

Avoid the lineups! Vote from the comfort of home!

And ask every Albertan in your life to do the same. 

Share this post! Spread the word! I am really hoping for a high amount of voter turnout, and a demoralizing blow to all the separatists, Wexiters, and everyone else trying to transform the province I have lived in most of my life, and incidentally, destroy the country I love.