Spacial Education

I've been a big fan of artillery games since playing Super Atomic Cannons on an Apple II in Junior High.  These are the games where you enter two values, one for cannon elevation or bearing and the other for force or speed.  This would determine the trajectory of your shot, and you would subsequently adjust one or both of the values to account for intervening hills and the effects of wind, and try to destroy your opponent's tank, cannon or emplacement before he did the same to yours.

Later iterations, like Scorch and Worms, added a variety of upgraded weapons and terrain that could be destroyed, but a simpler, space-based version has been my favourite for years.

In Gravity Wars, you view the action from a top-down perspective, as two spaceships alternate firing missiles at each other.  As you can surmise from the name, the gravitational pull of nearby planets can have a pronounced effect on the path of your shots, which varies depending on their density.  It all sounds very intense and slide rule-ish, but in reality, the game is surprisingly intuitive, and both of my girls enjoy playing it quite a bit.

I've played it on my Amiga and a variety of PCs, but I'm currently enjoying it as an app on the iPad (although it's made for the iPhone).  They've dispensed with the numerical entry in favour of a simple but effective graphical interface that makes the gameplay quick and easy.  I love playing it with Fenya and Glory as we can pick it up and put it down easily, and playing multiple rounds takes a long time to become tiresome, as every new engagement is like a puzzle to be solved as you work out your firing solution while the enemy shots draw closer and closer.  When they start studying parabolas and the like in math, I hope they recognize them from this game.

Maybe there is a lesson to be learned as well about the fickle nature of ballistic projectiles, as illustrated by the near miss I did to myself in the picture above.  Or even more spectacularly in the picture below; my second shot of this particular game, and the shot took 3-4 minutes to resolve.

I haven't yet witnessed a non-terminating shot, but I have to think it is possible for a shot to enter into a stable pattern and orbit the area in perpetuity, which I think you would have to treat as a complete do-over.

A Dirty Dozen 'Mechs

Basing and varnishing notwithstanding, the first half of the models that came with the Battletech Anniversary box are done. The quality of the models is still a long way from the detail I am used to painting, but a little ink goes a long way to bringing out what's there.

The best thing about painting a passel of giant robots like this is just how liberating it is. Since they aren't intended to be a cohesive force, they don't have to (and really shouldn't) have a uniform appearance. Since they operate on all sorts of planets, they can have all sorts of unorthodox camo or paint schemes. And since they are giant robots ranging from 30 to 100 tons, you don't lose a lot by ignoring concealment altogether, and getting by on style and audacity instead.

 

Some of these paint jobs (like the green and grey Zeus, and the brown, black and white Dragon) are intentionally reminiscent of paint jobs I had done on my original Ral Partha 'mechs those many years ago. I even had one like the yellow and black striped Clint, which I based on a vintage CF-104 Starfighter .

 

Putting a bright green colour scheme on something called a Grasshopper seemed pretty natural, as did the round orange head on the biggest 'mech, the 100 ton Atlas. Possible names for that one include Samhain, Big Jack and Helloween, but I've always loved the idea of a fearsome war machine called The Great Pumpkin.

 

And yes, the red and blue 'mech is called a Spider. I just couldn't help myself.

'Tooned In

A little over a year ago, we attended a friend's wedding in Calgary where he and the bride invited all the guests to have their caricatures done to commemorate the occasion.  I thought this was a really novel idea, and also would far rather see myself immortalized as a cartoon than as a photograph anyways, so all four of us got in line.  When Audrey and I saw the finished result, all I could think was, "There's been some mistake; this is a picture of my wife and my father..."

The girls' caricature turned out really well too, but even a mere year later, they already look older now.

The artist, Tom Milutinovic, banged these out in less than ten minutes apiece, which, to someone who needs a ruler and protractor to fashion a convincing stick man, is astonishing.  While he drew the girls, he chatted them up about school and shows that they liked, and when it was our turn, he and I talked about comic artists we both liked, including the legendary John Silvestri.

The end result is a great keepsake and a reminder of a wonderful evening.  Thanks Roger and Peggy!

Evenings in Contrast

In my heart of hearts, I still sometimes find myself doing things and looking at them from the perspective of "well, that's what grown ups do". Being a grown up is something I hope I will never become fully accustomed to,and looking at my past blog posts, I don't seem to be in any danger of that. Still this weekend's activities show the varying maturity indexes that we latter day Peter Pans need to roll between.
On Friday, we had a new furnace and hot water tank installed in our home. This is a bit nerve wracking. As it involves making a significant change to your domicile and the expenditure of not insignificant amounts of money. In fact, you can't help but feel a little cheated, having forked out thousands of dollars, and not being able to call up your mates and say, "hey, why don't you pop by and check out my new central heating unit?".

Still, it is a relief having removed our home's original 1978 model furnace, and to have replaced it with a newer, more reliable and more efficient model. And if you should want to come over and see it, you need only ask.

Tonight highlighted the other end of the spectrum, as I finally sat down and diligently applied the basecoats to two dozen Battletech figures.

I've painted a lot of different models over the last two decades, but I believe this is the first time I've put a brush to a 'Mech since about 1990, so it felt a little weird. This is strictly a practical exercise though; I don't have to worry about specific livery schemes, camo patterns or regimental insignia, and they dont have to look like a coherent force (unlike, say, a Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine army) so this is just about getting a few different colors on them and making them look distinct. And to do so as quickly as possible, as G&G VII is only a little more than a month away.

Even when working under a deadline or sense of obligation, I have always found this kind of painting to be relaxing and rewarding, and Audrey and Fenya did some sewing and laundry while I studiously applied pigments to toy robots, and we watched a couple of episodes of Magnum p.i. Thinking back, it might have been a similar scene when I lasted painted models like these, except for the company...

Last night bridged the gap perfectly between my grown up and not-so-grown-up selves, as Pete held his third ever Geekquinox in honor of the (official) beginning of spring. His theme this time around was 'butter', and as usual, he outdid himself.

Even better than the food was the company and conversation; we are a pretty diverse group in many ways, at least if you look at our beliefs or incomes or whether or not we have children or what we might do for a living, or who we might vote for in the next election, but we can all get along and share our wonder and appreciation of the good things we have in our lives. We can share some wine (or not) and allow ourselves to get silly like kids while talking about furnaces and parenting and what the future might hold.  How silly?  I might be setting us up in a dodgeball league later this year, how's that for silly?

A fellow I once worked with said, "Most people think that being mature means acting like an adult, but I don't think that's right; I think maturity is knowing when it's acceptable to act like a child". I think he was absolutely right, and splitting the difference between toy robots and furnace purchases are evenings of fellowship like Geekquinox. Thanks Pete!

Well Seated

I have always liked, though never owned, the wooden deck chairs known as Muskoka chairs in Canada or Adirondack chairs in the U.S.. Partially it is their sturdiness I find admirable, but the way they are canted makes reclining critical to one's comfort, and as a result, they are best suited for decks and patios and the like.

We visited friends of ours in Red Deer last weekend, and they have recently added a Muskoka chair to their living room. It was a Father's day gift, and since Dad is a pretty woodsy fellow who originally hails from back east, it is singularly appropriate for that reason alone. This particular chair, however, was decorated by a local painter named Sasha Grinell, entitled "Relaxing Fall", and donated for a silent auction fundraiser, which Dave's wife managed to win.

I am not usually the type of guy to get jealous of other people's furniture, but I think this is just a fantastic piece of practical artistry. I love the contrast of the fall colors and the monochromatic birch trees. This picture doesn't really do it justice, but it certainly illustrates how an ordinary assortment of wood designed to keep ones behind off the damp ground can be transformed into something remarkable.

 

John Carter: They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To

My good friend Earl J. Woods has already posted an insightful and well-written review of Disney's John Carter movie, but I thought I should chime in with what I appreciated about it.

Classic Leading Man - I've never watched Friday Night Lights, but Taylor Kitsch brings a lot of emotionally intense, square jaw, old-school adventure hero physicality to the role of John Carter, which is really fortunate, because, really, nothing else would do. Ex-cavalryman, treasure-hunter, and adventurer who first appeared a century ago in the pulps, mysteriously transported to a distant planet? Instead of a wordy soliloquy or tearful confession, the reason for John Carter's emotional reluctance is conveyed by nothing more than a series of almost microscopically brief flashbacks and Kitsch's pained expressions. This is very much a larger than life role that Kitsch amply fills out without being subsumed by it.
Classic Leading Lady - In the original stories, Edgar Rice Burroughs spends copious amounts of ink describing exactly how beautiful and desirable Dejah Thoris, the titular "Princess of Mars" is, and it is quite the intro to live up to. Lynn Collins does a fantastic job, creating a character who is not only a royal beauty, but also, smart, brave, and an accomplished swords woman.
Best CGI Character Since Gollum - The chieftain of the green Martian Tharks,Tars Tarkas, is ably voiced by Willem Defoe, who seems to take more to this character than he ever did to other genre outings, like the Green Goblin. The Tharks are wonderfully designed, and director Andrew Stanton gives us many opportunities to observe them in close detail so we can appreciate the texture of their skin, the coloration of their tusks. In medium shots, the expressiveness of their four arms makes their body language almost palpable. Defoe's Tarkas balances the need to be a strong leader of a savage tribe with his need to be curious and to express compassion.
Fantastic Design Work - Where to begin? The opening set piece, a battle in the sky between two brittle and elegant airships, showcases fantastic imagery ranging from the armour of the warriors, to the airships themselves, to the imaginative ways they are controlled, to the vistas beneath them. The architecture, creatures, costumes, weaponry, and archaeology hearten back to an attention to detail not seen since The Lord of the Rings.
Lighter Moments - As you might expect from a Pixar alumnus, Stanton takes care to leaven the action and pervasive threats with light touches of humor, but never at the expense of the dignity of the characters or by underestimating the intelligence of his audience.
Supporting Cast - I have always felt a little guilty when I watch James Purefoy's portrayal of Marc Antony in HBO's Rome, surely it must be wrong to enjoy his swaggering, bullying presence on the screen as much as I do. Seeing him in a more likable role as Kantos Kan, noble of Helium and ally of Dejah Thoris, is a real treat. Speaking of Rome, Dejah's father, Tardos Mors, is played by Ciaran Hinds (Julius Caesar), and John Carter's terrestrial lawyer is portrayed by Caesar's body slave Posca (Nicholas Woodeson).
Danger and Disney - This is old-school kick-ass Disney that does justice to the brutality of the stories that spawned it.  When John Carter wades into a tribe of pursuing Warhoon, it's not as gory as, say, John Milius' Conan, but it's still a savage symphony of sword and sinew that looks like a series of Frank Frazetta paintings brought to life, which is probably the highest praise you can give it.

The movie is already being written off as a flop by many, undoubtedly due to in its inability to garner back a sizable percentage of its considerable budget during its opening weekend. This is a real shame, and a bit unfair to boot. You can pay the same ticket price regardless of whether you are seeing Avatar or The Descendants; the price tag of the movie's production should be of no concern to the viewer. That being said though, I paid a little extra to see it in IMAX 3D, and it was great: thoroughly immersive, non-intrusive, and not dimly lit or dully coloured at all.

Perhaps if a little less was given away in the trailers, or if there had been more toys released to support the imagery (not that this helped Green Lantern I suppose...), John Carter might be doing better box office, but it is futile to speculate. Anyone who paid good money to see The Phantom Menace in its recent 3D re-release owes it to the rest of us to suck it up and go buy a ticket to this movie. It is a reminder of how easily attainable the rapture of classic adventure cinema, from The Thief of Baghdad to yes, Star Wars, can be.
I can only hope that enough positive word of mouth, and perhaps healthy home video sales, get this worthy adventure classic in front of more eyes so that we, like John Carter, might have the opportunity to return to Barsoom.

Battle at the Bend

I haven't played with my Tau army for a year or two now, so when Jeff and his son Connor came over Sunday before last for a game, I was happy to accede to Connor's request and field them instead of my Valhallans or Tyranids or Dark Angels. Connor got a bunch of Tau for Christmas and was anxious to see them in action.

A lot of the time that I should have spent re-reading my Tau codex (or even the rulebook) I instead used to figure out how to put my army list and reference sheets onto my iPad, which I eventually succeeded at. I took this as a small victory for paper usage, and a bigger one for ink cartridge avoidance. I'll never go to digital dice rolling, but the iPad is a great way to cut down the amount of paper I have blowing around, plus I wrote this blog entry and took the pictures with it.

I had the table all decked out before they came, and after some last minute substitutions for missing or unpainted men, we were ready to play. The mission we rolled called for us to come at each other from the long table edges and try to keep a unit in control of an ammo dump on our own side while trying to get another unit into proximity of our opponent's. Jeff's Imperial Guard and Connor's Eldar make a good team for this, combining the Guard's firepower and numerical superiority with Eldar prowess and mobility.

Despite being only 9, Connor has a good handle on most aspects of Warhammer 40,000, and a frankly astonishing grip on the extensive background of that war-torn future. Jeff made it clear that Connor would be responsible for deploying and moving his own units, and even let him choose where to establish their side's objective. He elected to place it beside a hill, and surrounded it with a unit of Guardians. With two Guard command elements in the ruins to his right, and another squad on the hill to his left, they had a fair amount of boots on the ground in terms of defense.

Seeing how many of their forces were arrayed to my right, and with an eye toward seizing their ammo cache early on, I cunningly deployed my forces in a refused flank configuration. This would have worked extremely well if my own objective had been ruse or a fake, but since it wasn't, I left myself terribly over extended and almost completely incapable of mounting a cohesive defense, as becomes evident later. Ah, well! I had left a couple of units in reserve, and since my plan for them was almost certain to fall apart before they arrived, maybe they could shore things up...

I hadn't used my river scenery for a while, and wanted to make a good impression on young Connor, so we ended up playing with a 4 inch wide river with one bridge and one fording point. We could have made things extra difficult and made the river impassable, but elected instead to make it very difficult and dangerous to boot, meaning every model going in, coming out or moving through it had to roll a dice, and would vanish on a roll of 1.

(In answer to your question, yes, it is a little disheartening when a terrain feature accounts for more casualties than one of your supposedly 'elite' units; thanks so much for inquiring!)

Our less-than-epic conflict quickly turned into two separate mini-battles. On the left, my Hammerhead gunship inched forward, supported by my Crisis suit commander and his bodyguard. The submunition rounds from its turreted railgun cut fairly significant swathes of Eldar and humans from the field. The squad of Fire Warriors inched up as well, but I completely neglected to run them in the shooting phase, opting instead to take a handful of dodgy shots with the few pulse carbines in the squad, which meant they would not be in position to take Jeff and Connor's objective away from them before the game ended.

The Hammerhead is not a super durable tank, being a skimmer and all, but it shrugged off 4-6 autocannon shots and one hit from a lascannon thanks to a timely appearance by a '1' on the die. When Jeff's Stormtroopers parachuted directly behind it with both a plasma AND melta gun though, I thought the jig was up for certain. The sole survivor of the command element also brought his microwave tank-cooker to the party via the front of the tank, but not a single melta was able to hit, and the plasma was unable to penetrate even the rear armour of the Hammerhead, so the Greater Good was able to prevail. Soon only a single human stood on that corner of the table prior to his hasty departure.

Once my Stealthsuits finished their flank march and appeared on that side of the table, they 'sanitized' the objective, and moved in to contest it.

The other side of the table was a far different story, however; my reserve Crisis suits got sliced into ribbons by shurikens right after they dropped onto the table, but my contingent of Kroot rushed out of the trees with their loyal hounds and turned Connor's jetbike squadron into just so much fast food.

Unfortunately, this put my savage avians in the path of two of Connor's elite Aspect Warrior units: his Dire Avengers, whose merciless shuriken catapults sectioned up a handful of Kroot like so many broiler chickens, and his Howling Banshees whose psychosonic screamer masks paralyzed them until their powerswords could finish them off. And then the Guard Sentinel strode in and stomped a couple more for good measure. The survivors tried to run, but who are we kidding? There's fast, and then there's Eldar fast. They stood no chance.

In the end, we successfully contested each other's objectives and ended in a draw. Jeff and I only moderately embarrassed ourselves with our rusty rules knowledge, and Connor distinguished himself as both a worthy ally and foe. All in all, a great game, and a wonderful way to end a couple of dry spells!